Day 24 To Work or Not to Work « Julie Asks

Day 24 To Work or Not to Work

May 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm · Filed under General Banter

I have a cold. I spent a day convincing myself that it was allergies (I took both an allergy pill and ColdEeze so perhaps I will never know the truth) only to be knocked on my butt yesterday by all symptoms that add up to a cold. My coughing and nose blowing at work prompted my co-worker/boss to implore me to stay home the next day if I wasn’t feeling well. We work in a very small space and, fairly, she didn’t want whatever I have (we were both working on the assumption that it was a cold we were dealing with)

When I woke up (for the first time) yesterday, it was patently clear to me, whether it was a cold or allergies, that I was of little to no use to anyone. I dragged myself out of bed, called my boss at home to tell her, got the kids off to school (yeah, I drove them wearing my pajamas…so what?) came home and immediately fell asleep for four hours. Ironically, they were the exact four hours I should have been at work. Clearly, I would not have been too productive. I got up, thumped downstairs, ate something and then turned around and went back to sleep for another three hours. It was then that I went online and found an email (sent to me at 5:10 the night before) (I had gotten in bed at 7) from aforementioned boss:

Subj: Tomorrow

Hope you’ll be feeling better by tomorrow –

We have 8 deal mementos to price out for XXX, one tote bag to find for XXX and one order for XXXX.

C

Now, as I mentioned, I did not receive this email until the day had passed. (Note to readers: I have to be feeling pretty terrible to not read my email…). The day was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. So today, definitely feeling better but far from cured, I dutifully got up, loaded up on Tylenol Day, did my hair (I recently cheated on my hairdresser and now have the best haircut I have had in years) got dressed (in anything but jeans), got the kids out the door and to school and dragged myself into the office.

Upon arrival, I was faced with a pile of non urgent administrative tasks to take care of. I was working my way through them when I got my daily call from C. on her way into the office. When I answered the phone, sounding just a little worse than I felt, we shared the following exchange:

C: Wow, you sound terrible.

Me: Well, I’m sick.

C: Then why’d you come in?

Me: I knew there was a lot going on and I just couldn’t get in yesterday. I didn’t get your email til late in the day.

C: That was yesterday. I got it done. I don’t want what you have.

Me: Okay, then if everything is under control I will finish up what I am doing and head out.

Later, when she arrived at the office after I answered the phone:

C: You don’t sound as sick as you say you are.

Me: That’s because I am hopped up on Tylenol Day

C: Well, I don’t want what you have.

Me: Okay.

And out the door I went.

I fully understand her not wanting what I have (I know I don’t want what I have) but, is it just me, or was I stuck between a rock and a hard place with that one? If I stayed home she was annoyed, if I went in she was annoyed. One thing I know for certain — I am not getting paid enough for that kind of aggravation. Bad attitude? Ooops.

So now, as I sit here with that hacking-so-hard-I-hope-I-don’t-barf cough I know in my heart that I am better off at home. Why, then, do I feel like I am doing something wrong? Why, then, do I feel guilty? (see archived post Day 13 if you sense a theme here) and why, then, am I torturing myself?

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2 Comments »

jelizabeth said

May 15, 2008 @ 12:21 pm
I wonder if what you’re feeling as “guilt” is a disguise for that uneasy feeling of not quite having made a decision about something you want to make a decison about, namely, your job. You want resolution to a question that seems persistently open right now.

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JLR said

May 15, 2008 @ 12:52 pm
Ya think?

That and the fact that I have always felt guilty when calling in sick to work…always.

Any thoughts, Freud?

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