Here it is, early August and I am struck by the following:
- Today, if memory serves me correctly, is the first really freakin’ hot day all summer. I am not including the ridiculous heatwave we had in May (which was arguably the linchpin for finally getting central air). Is it just me, or haven’t we usually been suffering through the three H’s repeatedly by this time of year.
- Georgie is done with camp at the end of this week. And, to add insult to injury, they had the audacity to make Friday a half day. A half summer is more like it! To be clear, camp is no longer available after 1:00 o’clock on Friday. Game over. End of season. Wrong.
- Today would have been my parent’s 52nd wedding anniversary. That’s insane.
- Harrison, having opted to only attend camp for the first session, has been home for two weeks. I cannot even recall his having been away.
- Not only have we not been to the beach even once this whole season, but no one in my house has even suggested or requested that we do so. We have, however, logged many, many, many hours at the pool.
Last week I went to the 40th birthday party of a great friend. At said party I was struck by the following:
- The closer I get to 45 the younger 40 seems to me.
- Of the 11 women at the table, I was the only one with curly hair (not entirely true – just the only one who didn’t take the time to blow it straight) and the only one with glasses (again – this is not indicative of quality of vision, rather effort to put in my contacts). This lead me to a contemplative phase regarding my laziness.
- Great line of the evening to a fellow party go-er who was dressed in, well, a dress about which everyone was commenting: “hmmm…I guess I dress like a dyke every other day of the year, huh?” (not that there is anything wrong with that…)
- The favor supplied by the guest of honor’s sister in law was what, at first blush, looked like a dose of Botox complete with a syringe ribboned to the top. In reality, it was a chocolate bar, but I swear I heard a collective sigh of disappointment when it became clear we had not, indeed, been gifted Botox. (See #1)
- Girlfriends are the best. Even the ones you just meet…
Somes Dos and Don’t
Do try Zazz Seltzer, Stop and Shop’s house brand…way better than my former fave, Polar.
Do drink it with a straw. A straw makes everything better.
Don’t make the mistake I did and introduce your children to fine food and sushi. It is a very expensive (and difficult to break) habit.
Do get regular manicures and pedicures. I don’t know how much more I can espouse their vast benefits.
Do teach your sons to be good fathers and husbands – your daughters in law will thank you.
Do keep up with the goings on of Jon and Kate. I can promise it will make you feel better about your situation.
Don’t throw away what looks likes a stupid piece of paper but is really the new Massachusetts car registration form. It’ll cost ya.
Do have me in the car when you need to park. I have exceptional parking karma. Really. All the time. Like Saturday night when I got a spot directly in front of the restaurant in the South End. Trust me on this one…that’s impressive.
Don’t bother yourself with trying to understand some of the idiosyncrasies of your children. I might never know why Georgie strips down to his underwear upon entering the house. I’m okay with that.
Do ask around if people are mandated reporters before threatening to kill your kids. Just sayin’.
Don’t trust me at the market. I am literally (and physically) incapable of running in for one item. I’ve never done it. I usually go in for one thing and wind up leaving with at least fifty fewer dollars in my wallet. I am also known among the 14 year old set in my neighborhood for having the most spanking pantry (both sweet and salty needs fulfilled) around.
