August 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm
· Filed under General Banter
- My entire life I have been surrounded by guys. I had one father, two brothers, three cousins (all of which were – still are – male), one husband (so far
) and two sons. With the notable exception of my mother, when it comes to chromosomal makeup, I have been outnumbered. I have to believe that has somehow played a role in making me who I am. I choose not to delve deeper into that one.
- I also have an inappropriately emotional relationship with my hair. It is thick, curly (not the tight, kinky icky curl, but the soft, flowy-ish kind) and there is a lot of it. Sounds good, but, trust me, it is a curse. No matter how many products I spend any amount of money on, none have been the perfect antidote to the weather. Sure, some have rallied for a while, duped me into thinking they were the “one” but then, ultimately failed me. And just when I think I have let go of it and just gone with the natural look I see a picture of myself and wonder why no one bothered to tell me…
- And speaking of pictures of myself…there’s another sensitive issue. I firmly believe I am one of those people who are incapable of photographing well. Either that, or I look way worse than I think I do. That does great things for my sense of self. That said, I have become such a whore for a good picture of myself that this week alone I have cropped three people (some more than once) out of photos in a vain effort to make myself look good.
- Over the course of the past week, Georgie has addressed me by a variety of titles, none of which is Mom. They include, but are not limited to: Maestro, Fraulein, Cupcake and SugarPlum. He also took offense to the pattern on a small Vera Bradley wristlet I have. He examined it and inquired as to whether I had bought it or had it given to me. I told him it had been a gift to which he responded: “ah, that makes sense…have you seen your sense of fashion?” I am going with the theory that he thought it wasn’t as cool as I am. I am ignoring the possibility that he found it hipper and cooler than I usually am.
- In a recent evening of Bananagrams, I boldly announced to my gamemates (aged 13 and 14) that I was playing to win…not gonna throw the game in deference to their age and assumed inferior speed and vocabulary. They proceeded to kick my ass. Repeatedly. (Between you and me, I let them win…)
- I swear like a sailor. Always have. That said, I have never dropped the F bomb in front of my kids. That, dear friends, is a miracle. Even more of a miracle given my kids.
- Harrison is 5″10″ and weighs 120 pounds. I think that makes him a supermodel.
- I have an eagle eye. On a nearly daily basis I spot typos on menus, signs, advertisements and in texts. One time after looking at the awning of store I felt compelled to go in to tell them that “jewelry” is not spelled “jewlry”. Pathetic considering it was a, yup, jewelry store. I’m guessing someone got an ass kicking for that one.
- I am off to escort Georgie to see “Ponyo” which I fear is going to be another insufferable animated film, but given the fact we had to leave the pool after 30 minutes today when the sky filled with thunder I guess I kinda owe him. (Not that I can control the weather, but, damn, there’s that mother’s guilt again!) Fortunately, it is playing at a theater that actually pops their own popcorn. That’s worth the price of admission right there.
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