Julie Asks – Am I an Adult Yet?

Having been barraged with requests that I start blogging again and in an attempt to get back in the groove, I give you my ramblin’ for this, the close of 2011. (Note: I initially typed 2010 and thought nothing of it.  Then I realized we are deep into 2011.  Yeah…it has been that kind of year.)

1. Every family should have at least one therapist on the payroll.  We have three. (See above)

2. Once you get past the initial nausea upon noticing the first scraggly hairs that show up under your teenaged son’s armpits and under his nose it isn’t so bad.

3. Parent/teacher conferences must frustrate the crap out of the teachers who really cannot  say what they really want to say about your really challenging kid.

4. Despite the extreme patience and dumbing down of language for me by the folks at Blue Cross/Blue Shield, I still don’t understand why they do and don’t pay for things.

5. Droids beat Blackberries hands down.  I love my Droid and experienced deep, intense fear when I dropped it in the toilet.

6. Only successful concoction for assuaging agonizing back pain: Valium, Vicodin and vodka.  At the same time.

7. No matter how hard I try, I am simply incapable of planning a week’s worth of dinner ahead of time.  I am good for three nights and then all bets are off.

8. I would give up food before I would give up my cleaning lady.

9. I secretly hope that someday I will win The Publisher’s Clearinghouse.  It might behoove me, then, to fill out the forms next time they arrive.

10. Today George accidentally called a tambourine a tangerine.

11. A friend from high school who was a year behind me told me that when we were in school the boys in his class had voted me the best looking in my class.  He waited 25 years to tell me that why??

12. I own north of a dozen pair of jeans, yet there is one pair which serves as my metric for when I have to lay off the french fries.  I am happily wearing them right now.

13. Despite my having valiantly tried to quit, I need a Diet Coke every day.  Preferably from the fountain.  Preferably from McDonald’s.  Preferably the drive-thru.

14. My methodology for choosing a book: take one I’ve read and liked, look at the back cover for “praise from other authors” which lists their works, then find those books and take them all out of the library.  Invariably one is a keeper.

15. That being said, I disliked “The Help”.  Well, I shouldn’t say that I disliked it because that would suggest that I read the whole thing.  Which I didn’t.  Couldn’t.  Dislike.

16. And speaking of dislike, can someone give me a halfway decent reason that there is no “dislike” button on Facebook?  A day hardly goes by that I don’t long for one.  And for one that just says, “ass.”

17. Confession: I taped the final two weeks of “Live With Regis and Kelly” and, yup, I cried on his last day.  (Which is more than he did.)  He got me through many long mornings when I was recovering from my three, yes, three, back surgeries last winter.

18. I believe that numbers mean something.  Harrison’s birthday is November 27.  Nearly every day I either look at the clock at 11:27 and/or notice something with 1127.  Having said that, I will end on this, number 18…(Chai or good luck)

(Which I need a lot of these days…)